Balancing When the Struggle is Real
This week has been a struggle, well Tuesday until now has been a struggle, Monday was okay. Sometimes the ideas aren’t there. Sometimes the outside world kicks in. Sometimes problems, issues, and other things come up. Sometimes we’re just distracted. That’s been me the last couple of days.
I get told to find balance and flow when this happens but it’s hard to do for the human that likes to focus on problems. It’s easy to just say ignore the outside world, but it’s not always easy to do. The outside world, whether I or we like it or not, is often quite compelling, even when we don’t like the story it’s telling us.
So what then? Beating myself up doesn’t get me anywhere. I can yell at myself for knowing better, which I do. I can be mad at myself for not being able to walk my own talk 100% of the time. But that doesn’t get me anywhere either. Or I can write a blog like this and admit that I’m human and have days that aren’t so good. Maybe that’s better.
I don’t do this because I’m perfect or because I have it all figured out. I do this because I’m learning too and one of the things I enjoy doing is teaching what I learn. There is this thing in spiritual circles because lots of us show up as healers and coaches at various points in our own growth, that says we need to be “healed” to help others. While I understand passing on my trauma to you isn’t helpful, I’d wait my whole life to be perfectly healed and I still wouldn’t be. Interestingly enough, any belief that we are perfectly healed is an ego thing that, in fact, needs to be healed. It really doesn’t ever end, we just like to think it does.
I believe balance is more about allowing the human to be human and not trying to force ourselves to be something we’re not in that moment. The flow will come back. The balance will resume as long as we don’t unpack and live in the imbalance. As long as we have balance some of the time, most of the time(?) I think it’s possible to have a few bad days without needing to beat ourselves up or feeling like we’ve failed.
Ultimately the balance comes from being okay as often as we can. The more okay we are on the good days, the easier it is to recover on the bad ones. We understand not to hang out in the muck. We understand not to hang onto the problems. We get that we need to heal and release as much as possible. We all know these things. What I found myself doing the last couple of days was that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to make things happen. But the more pressure I put on myself, the less I actually did. I know better. I know how to fix it, I just can’t always do the things that I know to do. Sometimes those strategies don’t work for me either.
What I can do and what I need to do more of in the future, is take the pressure off myself. What I can do is allow myself to be human and get okay with having bad days sometimes and not worry so much about it.
It’s okay to feel stuck. It’s okay to feel uninspired. It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to have a bad day or a bad 5-minutes that you let ruin your whole day. It’s just okay. If there’s one thing I can say about finding balance in the middle of all the struggle, it’s that pressure doesn’t solve it. Trust yourself to re-balance as and when you’re ready and you will. You know what you need when you need it, and allow that to be okay by honouring it as much as you can.
It’s not about being perfectly balanced every day of your life, it’s about being able to re-balance when the world sends you spinning.
Love to all.
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