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  • 2021,  April,  Balance,  Paid Blog,  Perspective,  Spirituality

    How Do You Know When Your Perspective is Off?

    No. There's nothing wrong with being human. The point is never perfection. We don't all need to be Zen masters. We are here to have these human experiences and feel these human things. They are completely okay. The goal is to acknowledge the crazy after the fact, and then try to find the higher perspective at that point. The more aware we are the less we respond, but that doesn't mean we're going to be perfect all the time. Even the best of us have bad days.

  • 2021,  March,  Paid Blog,  Spirituality,  Trust

    Are We Really Ever Ready?

    There is this idea in life that we need to feel ready to do certain things like writing a test, having a conversation, or trying something new. Eventually we get to this place where we understand that we never really are ready. What happens instead is that we learn to trust ourselves. To access this post, please purchase a subscription

  • 2021,  March,  Paid Blog,  Relationships,  Spirituality,  Trust

    The Boundary Balancing Act

    We get told often we're supposed to have boundaries. Sometimes, depending on our life experience, we start off with very poor boundaries and move to very solid, unbreakable boundaries. Frequently this happens because of pain and trauma. The weaker boundaries let in people that probably shouldn't have been let in. The response to the trauma is to create stronger boundaries that keep everybody out. Where's the middle? To access this post, please purchase a subscription

  • 2021,  February,  Healing,  Paid Blog,  Spirituality

    You Are Not a Victim

    Self-victimization is a form of ego protection. It's the ego and the voice in our heads, making us victims of the people and things around us in order to keep us safe. If we never get into a relationship again we don't have to worry about getting hurt. If we never get off the couch we can't stub our toe again. If we just stop talking to everybody, nobody can disappoint us anymore. There is safety in walling ourselves off from life, or at least that's how the ego would like us to see it. But we know that this isn't realistic. We can't live life like that. So what do we do? To access this post, please purchase a subscription

  • 2021,  February,  Paid Blog,  Relationships,  Spirituality

    Love Changes Everything

    If you've never had a love relationship flip your entire world, your perspective, your thoughts and beliefs on their heads, while it can be painful, I hope you experience it because it is one of the most profound experiences of my life. To access this post, please purchase a subscription

  • 2021,  February,  Paid Blog

    Seeing Trauma That Isn’t There

    This happens all the time in life. We look at a situation and it reminds us of some trauma that we’ve experienced in our own life. Because of that tiny little reminder, we immediately assume certain things about the situation that may not be true. At it’s most basic level, this is just perception in action. This is the proof that our perception colors how we see things. If there is something about a situation that is triggering for us, we will see that situation a certain way because of that trigger. If we’re not triggered by that situation, we’re sometimes able to see things a little more clearly, which makes our perception quite different from the one that was triggered. This is how we see trauma that isn’t there. No matter how benign that trigger on its’ own may have been, we immediately see red and it stops us in our tracks. We can run from everything this way because that trigger creates the fight or flight response and we choose to fly. This can become quite a difficult pattern to break. It’s even harder to see for the person in the pattern. Recognizing that we’re being triggered by the people and things around us to such a degree that it becomes unhealthy, takes a lot of self-awareness. Getting out of this pattern means first recognizing it’s there, and then second, stopping ourselves long enough to take a second look at things. Is my perspective correct right now? Is...…

  • 2021,  February,  Paid Blog,  Relationships

    What Relationships Taught Me

    I wouldn't do what I've done for just anybody. Not everybody gets to go on this journey and that's okay. There is no martyrdom here. I didn't sacrifice myself. I did what I needed to do. I took care of me while working to right a relationship that had become broken. To access this post, please purchase a subscription

  • 2021,  Empowerment,  February,  Paid Blog,  Spirituality

    Expectations as Self-Victimization

    Having no expectations doesn't mean we put up with everything other people do. It doesn't mean we're doormats. That's now how this works. Putting up with everything other people do is self-victimization. Having no expectations is empowering. Let me explain. To access this post, please purchase a subscription

  • 2021,  Empowerment,  February,  Paid Blog,  Spirituality,  Truth

    Feeling Different

    Life teaches us about our own power. It teaches us about our own ability to overcome the different things that happen in our lives. It teaches us about relationships, both healthy and really toxic. It teaches us about who we are and why we're here. No, we're not here to just pay bills and die. There is far more to this experience than that. To access this post, please purchase a subscription

  • 2021,  Healing,  January,  Paid Blog,  Spirituality

    What Happens When We Plateau?

    Sometimes on the spiritual path we talk about the idea of plateauing. We reach a level or a place on our path and we seem to stay there for a while. It's not a bad thing, we just hang out. Sometimes it makes us wonder what's going on and sometimes it makes us think we're getting lazy or we're not doing enough, but none of those things are true. To access this post, please purchase a subscription