• 2021,  Grief,  Healing,  January,  Paid Blog,  Spirituality,  Truth

    My Awakening Experience

    This isn't something I've shared publicly in a blog before. It's not something I talk about a lot. The only place I referred to it is in my first book, The Truth of My Awakening, where I briefly discuss what happened. I was hesitant to share the full story because I didn't want to sound like a victim. I'm not a victim. But I've decided maybe it can help some of you. Maybe you'll be able to relate to it in a way that will be helpful to you.

  • 2020,  December,  Grief,  Healing

    The Heartbreak of Losing a Baby

    I’ve mentioned before that I lost a baby many years ago. When Megan Markle shared that she had miscarried, I once again mentioned my own experience with this. I wanted to share more about it and what happened after. My son was stillborn at approximately 26 weeks gestation in 1996. I was in my second trimester, which made him a stillborn birth instead of a miscarriage. Regardless of the length of the pregnancy, losing a child is a tragic experience for any family. I remember when my water broke (This was the only time out of all 3 pregnancies that my water broke naturally.). I didn’t completely understand what was happening. It took me a bit before I went to the hospital. I think it was mostly denial that took over. I don’t think I wanted to believe that I was going to lose the baby. I know I wasn’t ready for what was about to happen. The baby was still alive when I got to the hospital and my contractions had started, although they weren’t all that painful. They wanted to try to do an emergency C-section to save the baby. They didn’t get that far. Just before they were going to wheel me in for surgery, they checked for a heartbeat and there was none. The baby had died and they called off the surgery. They ended up giving me an epidural. This was also the only time I used pain killer. I had my other two kids…