There is this idea in life that we need to feel ready to do certain things like writing a test, having a conversation, or trying something new. Eventually we get to this place where we understand that we never really are ready. What happens instead is that we learn to trust ourselves.
We get told often we're supposed to have boundaries. Sometimes, depending on our life experience, we start off with very poor boundaries and move to very solid, unbreakable boundaries. Frequently this happens because of pain and trauma. The weaker boundaries let in people that probably shouldn't have been let in. The response to the trauma is to create stronger boundaries that keep everybody out. Where's the middle? To access this post, please purchase a subscription
We all get here at some point. I wrote a blog for my subscribers yesterday about hitting a plateau and wondering what to do next. The message I gave them was not to push. Don't struggle against it because once we start struggling, we tend to create more reasons to struggle. That's not helpful!
Expectations are judgements we have about other people to do or not do something based on what we believe about them in that moment. Expectations frequently get broken in the human experience because people are not perfect beings. They simply can't, nor should they be expected to, live up to some high expectations we might have of them. The higher our expectations, often the more likely we are to be hurt by those around us. To access this post, please purchase a subscription
I tell you all of this because I want you to see the power of your dreams. I want you to see the power that you have to create things that are far beyond anything you can imagine in the moment. But the trick to all of it is trust. As convoluted as the last few years have been for me, I had to trust that eventually I would get to where I needed to go. Even though most of the work that I did had nothing to do, at least as far as I could tell, with the relationship I was trying to get back, I followed it anyway. I've continued to follow it, no matter how messed up it gets, because I know that I will get to where I want to go and it will be better than anything I could ever have hoped for. To access this post, please purchase a subscription
Sometimes in life, we go through things that we don't understand. Either the choice we made didn't turn out quite the way we planned or we end up somewhere we didn't really expect. (Just yell, "Plot twist!" when this happens and keep going!) Sometimes after a bad relationship, we think those months or years were a waste of time. But whatever the reason, it's easy to look around after the experience and wonder what the point was.
Some days are easier than others. We know this. Right now I'm trying to create new patterns and let go of old ones that sabotaged me. I'm trying to write more consistently and communicate my story and the lessons I've learned more often. I'm trying not to hide.