Confidence Building Exercises
It seems blogs on the weekend are a thing now. I’ve taken to posting directly to social media during the week, leaving the weekend open to random babbling on my blog. Since it’s Saturday, here we are!
If you’ve been watching my social media at all, you’ll notice I’m in a process right now. I’m semi-arguing with my confidence and trying to understand how this all works. I’m working through it in stages. Stage one was on Friday. I posted this big long thing on social media about my sheer lack of confidence and asked for help. I did have a few people respond to my request and I sincerely thank you for that.
Today it has been about offering things, so I opened up my calendar for sessions. For a while now I haven’t been creating an offering as a way to “solve problems” because my energy has been so warped that it just created a futile hopelessness that wasn’t helpful. It was actually better for me to just ignore the entire thing altogether. I got pretty good at doing that, but it meant most of the time the problems just remained. So, while it kept my energy from getting all bent out of shape and allowed me to continue on with my writing, it didn’t actually solve anything and it was kind of limiting in terms of the work I was doing.
Today and for the next week or 2, I’m challenging this idea and paying close attention to my energy around what happens when I offer things to others. The Universe has kindly granted me a headache to let me know physically that I’m holding onto crap. That’s nice of it, isn’t it?
The physical manifestation is actually a helpful reminder that I’m holding onto stuff and that it needs to be released. But how? That’s what I’m working to understand for myself right now. For me, some of it is just writing and sharing. That works amazingly well on all manner of issues and problems in my life. But it’s still not the whole story. While I’ve gained a heck of a lot of clarity from simply writing like this over the past year or two, there is still other work happening in the background.
I have lengthy conversations with my cards, for example, to help me understand what’s happening internally and work with it. I had one of those conversations this morning. They were telling me to create and I gave them back the idea that I wasn’t supposed to do that, and they said but that’s part of the lie that’s been present in my life for a long time. It’s not true. You can create, offer things, and be successful, you just have to deal with your thoughts and your crazy energy. Oh, that’s all I have to do? Lucky me!
I have the goal and I know what it is. I need to focus on it and stay away from the other stuff. The fun part is that this is such an ingrained way of being for me. I’ve been in this thing for years and years. It’s not just snapping my fingers and things change. Even my body is reacting as my head is reminding me it’s still present.
It’s not stress. I don’t stress anymore. I’m not worried. I’m just caught in an energy loop of not being confident enough in my own work to allow myself to know I can be successful when I offer things. That’s really all it comes down to. How do I shift that? Mostly through awareness, re-direction, and a little determination.
Awareness is paying attention to my own thoughts and feelings.
Re-direction means distracting my brain with other things to keep it from getting into the usual loop.
Determination to stay focused on what I want and not focus on the problem like I normally do.
As you can see it’s a very conscious, intentional process. I have to actively work with myself, not just for 5-minutes but for an extended period of time to get the energy to move so that I can shift this. To say it’s tiring is an understatement. It’s only 2:30 in the afternoon and I need a nap already. I didn’t even get up until 9:30 this morning.
I’ve been keeping my brain occupied mostly successfully. The physical manifestation of a headache means I need to switch gears and pay attention to my energy so I can shift that. It obviously wants to go, so now it’s a matter of taking some time to move it around. I will do that after I’m done with my rambling here.
How do I shift the energy? Focus on it. Ask it what it wants or needs. Allow it to be there a little bit and just sort of wait for it to decide to go on its’ own. Sometimes I get some energy-healing help from Archangel Michael or my own guides. They often come in when I’m moving things around like this. It’s nice to have some high-powered backup like that. It certainly makes my job easier.
Shifting the energy doesn’t fix the thinking problem. Shifting the energy doesn’t solve my confidence issues either. There is still an active process happening where I have to pay attention to my thoughts and tug my fragile confidence along behind me even once the energy is shifted. All this requires is practice. I just have to keep doing it.
I’ve said many times that confidence is not gained by sitting on the couch. It does require me to actively do things to challenge the lack of confidence that I feel. That’s what you’re getting to watch me do. I’m challenging it because it’s the only way forward. You’re lucky enough to not only watch me do it but actually tell you what I’m doing as it’s happening.
My awareness of my own process allows me to help you become of what’s happening for you and why, as well. The things I do for myself are also (conveniently) things that I can do for others. So here’s the shameless plug at the end of the blog. If I can help you sort out your own process, provide some energy healing or just give you some space to vent, grab a session with me and we’ll do this together.
Love to all.