Connect to Yourself

It’s all within you.

That’s been becoming more and more clear as time has gone on for me. The farther down this path I get, the more I see that everything I needed I had to give to myself first from the inside. It was only once I was stable in that ability that I was able to create it for myself on the outside.

The cycles only stopped, the pain only stopped, because I stopped denying those aspects of myself. I’ve shared before how I accept those pieces of myself when they show up. There is a very intuitive journey that I get to go on when that happens. I’ll try to remember to link the blog post when I’m done writing this.

By giving myself all the things I was missing, I was able to begin the process of transforming the external reality. It means I can be completely self-contained. I don’t need to go looking outside of myself for anything. I know, there are lots of people out there who crave connection with others. When you’re not connected to yourself, you will go looking outside of you for it.

Depending on the story you’re telling, you may experience a lack of connection as a lot of people have over the last couple of years. That story of isolation and disconnection is common. It creates mental health issues like depression and anxiety. But the story of disconnection in the outside world is created by a disconnection from yourself in the internal world. The more painful this sense of disconnection is for you, the more you need to connect to yourself.

What you’ll find when you do that is that there is a younger version of you that felt disconnected in some way. Maybe it was absent or disconnected parents. Maybe it was a lack of friends or not feeling like you fit in. Maybe it was being told to be different than you were. It doesn’t really matter what the story is, the simple truth is that it caused you to disconnect from yourself. Now, through life and how the world is right now, you’re being asked to find that connection to yourself again.

How do you do that?

The connection to self starts with the recognition of the piece of you that is disconnected. It’s time to stop arguing with it, ignoring it, or looking for it outside of you because it’s not there. You won’t find it out there. When you can stop blaming it for your life or complaining about how you have no friends, then you can begin the process of acceptance of this piece of yourself. You can then give that piece of yourself the connection that it wants. You’re giving it to yourself. You’re not taking it from anybody. You’re not creating it outside of you. You’re giving it to yourself so that when you do go out into the world, the connections aren’t created based on need. They are created based on desire and they are more healthy. They have boundaries because you recognize that you don’t need people you just want them around.

That’s the human thing to want people around. We’re social creatures, there is nothing wrong with that. When it does cause trouble though, it’s because we’re lacking the connection within ourselves. To go blaming other people for how they are being because you’re not getting the connection you think you need, causes you to feel even more disconnected. That cycle will keep repeating until you connect to yourself.

When we don’t want to heal we project outwards. That’s what humans do and we all do it. The not wanting to heal comes from fear or pain. It comes from a desire to stay where we are or keep things the same. Humans don’t like change so we try to make where we are work for us. It doesn’t matter how uncomfortable where we are is, we want to stay there because we don’t know what change looks like. If we’re feeling disconnected, we’re even less likely to change if it means we might lose people. That triggers the feeling of disconnection.

It’s a giant loop that people get into. It’s been triggered in a big way by the events of the last couple of years. It will keep being triggered because the goal is to heal as individuals. Anybody not wanting to go through that process is going to feel the discomfort of that. The reality is that some will stay disconnected. They won’t go down the path, maybe they aren’t meant to in this lifetime, and that’s okay. What that means is that life is going to be a little painful and uncomfortable for them, but we can’t make people heal, so we have to leave them where they are and continue on our own journey.

Pain will always show you the truth. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, it’s because there is a truth being shown to you. Underneath the pain is a lie that you’ve been telling yourself about who you are or who you aren’t. There’s a belief that you have that isn’t working for you anymore. There’s some lie there that is trying to show you what the truth is. When you can flip the lie over to see the truth, that’s when you can begin to heal.

The truth requires you to let go of the lie. That’s the hard part because usually that lie is being reflected back to us all over the place in our lives. We have to learn to ignore it and not pay attention to it. That can be challenging especially when the lie shows up as problems that we think we need to solve. Learning to stay out of it and not worry about it is one of the more challenging things that we get to learn to do on this path.

It is through ignoring reality that we find the connection to ourselves. When reality is distracting us, as it often does, we miss the connection to ourselves. Because we’re distracted by reality we try to fix it and create what we want in it instead of looking within ourselves. We do that because our focus is in the wrong place. We’re interacting with the wrong thing and it will then cause us pain.

When we shift back to ourselves and our internal connection to ourselves, we find the outside world really doesn’t have a whole lot to offer. We go create things and connect with others because we want to, not because we’re trying to fill some void within ourselves and not because society said we were supposed to. Now we connect in a healthy way because we’ve created a healthy connection within ourselves.

Everything comes from there. Whether it’s money, relationships, material things, career or life purpose, goals, dreams, or anything else you can decide to create, it all happens from our connection to ourselves. The more stable and powerful that is, the more stable and powerful your life will also be.

How do I know all this?

Because I’ve had to live it. I disconnected from myself to make other people happy. The only way I could begin to change my life was to re-connect to myself. I’ve had to find it all within me because none of it was out there. Even though the problems were out there, I couldn’t fix those because I hadn’t connected to myself yet. I had to put myself first on my own list, make my awareness of myself the most important thing that I was doing on any given day, and drop the story that I was telling about the outside world and only then, did things begin to shift.

Right up until this very minute, the changes are still mostly internal ones. The outside reality hasn’t quite caught up yet. Some of it is about the stability of my connection to myself, something I’m still working on. The more I do this, the more I talk to people, the more I pay attention to myself within my own life, the more stable I become in my power and in my connection to me.

That’s why I’m here. That’s why I show up. That’s why I do what I do.

I want you to have that same connection to yourself. I want you to be okay within yourself so that you don’t have to be in so much pain. There is a way out and I can help guide that process for you. Reach out if you want to get started.

Love to all.


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