Control Your Thoughts, Don’t Heal Emotions

Emotions are created by our thoughts. Emotions are not random. They don’t show up “just because”. They show up because of the thoughts we think and the script that plays in our heads. If we learn to manage our thoughts, we automatically gain control over how we feel.

Contemplating emotions will actually send us down a rabbit hole of more emotion. We get swept up in the tide of how we feel and it’s really hard to come back from that. This is why when we’re trying to heal from past events, it’s really important to try to stay out of the emotion of it. We can’t control a tidal wave. We have to control the thinking around it.

My courses and books all teach how to handle the mind because the emotion is naturally controlled when the mind is. Staying out of the emotion means we don’t get swept up in it. It doesn’t overwhelm and distract us. It allows us to steer clear of all of that.

Remember, there is a difference between acknowledging emotion and trying to heal emotion. Acknowledging the fear allows us to engage the brain to figure out why we’re afraid. Trying to heal the fear sends us down the rabbit hole of feeling more fear, but we never actually get anywhere. We solve nothing by doing it that way. The emotions will leave when the thoughts do. It doesn’t work the other way around.

Acknowledge the thought process that created the emotion. As Abraham-Hicks says, “beliefs are just thoughts you keep thinking”. This is true. Those thoughts we keep thinking, create emotions we keep feeling. We think we need to chase down the emotion and tackle it. But the thoughts keep coming, so the emotions come too. If we can change the habit of thought and the pre-programmed emotional response that goes with those thoughts, we can change our response to the situation. Every single program and book that I write is based on that premise.

We don’t need the emotional rabbit hole. The emotional rabbit hole is a pre-programmed response to some event and it’s based on whatever it is that is playing in our heads at the time. It’s not based on what’s actually happening. It’s not based on anything other than habit. The habit can be broken. We break it by breaking the habit of thought, not the habit of emotion.

I’ve used the analogy in the past of not unpacking the boxes. We know what’s in the boxes, that’s the emotion. It’s all the little memories that have strong emotions attached to them. We don’t need to hold on to any of it. This is what I mean when I say you don’t have to unpack the box. Deal with the thoughts instead of the emotions. It’s essentially a process of unhooking our emotions from our memories. When we understand that it’s the memory that drags up the emotion, we can deal with the memory. What is the memory triggering and why? Keep it intellectual. Don’t get into the emotions. When the thinking around the memory is changed, the emotions will stop coming. That’s when it’s clear the emotion has been unhooked. That’s why we don’t have to unpack the box of emotions.

As we dig through thoughts, they are going to trigger emotions. That’s what makes healing challenging. But as we unhook and stop being scared of our own feelings or trying to avoid them entirely, we can begin to change those thoughts so that the emotions can be released. That’s the journey and it’s a powerful one.

Love to all.


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