Habits of Being
Ways of thinking and being are habits we form over time. They are created not only from trauma but also from what has worked in the past or our perception of what the people around us will like.
Those habits are the hardest ones to break because they are the most “hidden” from us. They are “the way we are”. Most of us never consciously think about how we show up in the world or how we approach the different circumstances and scenarios in our lives. We just do it and that’s it.
Sometimes though, and I’m in this process now, we have to adjust our way of being because it no longer works. Most of the old ways of being that I had in place were for survival and security. It had very little to do with who I actually was or how I wanted to show up in the world. How I wanted to show up was very different from what I actually had to do to survive.
Who am I without the stuff, the problems, the survival mechanisms? Who am I without all that clutter? That’s the work for me right now. If I’m not that and if I don’t have to exist in such a way that I need to tiptoe around that, what does that look like? Who am I then?
This comes down to being connected to your own power. Within that power center is the truth of who you are. Within my power center is the truth of who I am. You see, I lost my connection to my power again. It actually happens all the time because it’s not a habit, it’s not a “normal” way of being for me, yet. It’s something I have to consciously do, at least for a bit until it is a little bit more of a habit. But in losing my connection to myself, even if only for a few days or a couple of weeks, I slip back into old patterns and habits. I allow things to distract me. I fall off the horse a little bit. It causes me to question myself.
Am I okay? Is there something wrong with me? Am I doing it right? Then I have to fight with my confidence again because the old habit is to argue with the ego. The old habit is to argue with the story the mind makes up. It is to get sucked into the belief that I’m not good enough or that I don’t deserve whatever it is. These days most of my life lessons show up through my work or my lack of work. That’s because I use my own work on myself and so it’s the easiest way to show me what I need to see.
It’s not an infallible process. It’s not a straight line. It zig-zags all over the place because humans don’t go straight. That’s not how human life works or is meant to work. When they try to go straight, it makes life pretty boring. So yes, I zig-zag all over the place and have to course correct regularly. Today is one of those days.
When I squish my power I stifle my creativity. I think I said in my blog yesterday, they tell me to write and just see what shows up because this is where the creative energy flows. This is how I can connect most easily to myself and my power. But I avoid it at times, as all good writers do, because of the habit of insecurity, because of the habit of avoidance, because of the habit of survival.
Survival happens when problems show up and we think we need to solve them. The solution to my entire life is in my connection to my power and in my connection to my creativity. If I focus anywhere else I lose that connection, mostly because it’s not a habit and I can’t maintain it without focusing on it. Like all of us with the attention span of a flea, I can’t focus on much of anything for very long! HAHAHAHA
How do I form the habit? Retraining the brain, constantly redirecting myself back to where I need to be. Learning to keep thoughts in check, blocking out the outside world more often, not allowing my ego to “own” problems that it can’t do anything about. It’s like trying to redirect a toddler away from the light socket. That sounds frustrating, doesn’t it?
I suppose it could be if I got mad at myself and beat myself up for falling off the proverbial horse, but I don’t do that. Welcome to the human experience, Laura. This is what humans do and since I’m in this body, I get to do it too. My work is about not only teaching you how to change your life if you want to but also how to cope with it so that you don’t have to struggle. By showing you that you don’t have to pick everything up because most of it doesn’t belong to you, by showing you that not everything requires deep healing, by showing you strategies for controlling the mind, questioning the story, and looking for truth, you learn to live without the struggle. You learn to stop beating yourself up. You learn to accept what life is and that the human self just does the best it can and that it’s okay that it’s like that.
Problems are part of the human experience. I’m showing you here how to not buy in, how to stay on the side of the pool, how to not get sucked in. Problems happened, it caused me to go off the rails a bit, but I just redirect and keep going. I’m not beating myself up, I’m not making up a story about how I need to do better, I’m not complaining about what I didn’t do or should have done. It just is. It’s human and that’s perfectly okay.
Healing of self requires acceptance of self. You can’t heal what you don’t accept. I can’t heal habits I refuse to see. I can’t change things I don’t want to acknowledge. I can’t heal things I’m mad at or frustrated with. I can create new habits and ways of being, but I have to acknowledge the old ones and be willing to let them go, all at the same time. I have to pick that thing up to put it in a box and give it away. Whether we’re talking about stuff buried in a closet or habitual ways of thinking and being, the process is the same. If I pick it up now it’s because I know what I need to do with it and I’m willing to allow that process to occur. Everything is done with intention because intention and intuition are the things that guide the way.
This is a giant loop because we’re back to where we started. When we lose that focus on our own power we stop paying attention to the intention and intuition that guide us. That’s when we go back to struggling with old habits and old ways of being.
It all goes together. If you’re working on one area of your life, you’re working on all areas of your life. The Universe doesn’t compartmentalize the same way humans do. One thing affects everything else. As you see those connections, you realize that it all comes back to the same place. Who am I without all the stuff that I hold on to? What new habits do I need to form once I release all that old stuff?
Love to all.