Happiness is Too Much Work

Many of us, whether we want to admit it or not, are miserable in our lives, or at least we aren’t as happy as we could be. We seem to, as a collective, have accepted a certain level of unhappiness in our lives. We justify the unhappiness with phrases like, “You can’t be happy all the time.”. But this is more than just having a bad 5-minutes. This is years of being in relationships that haven’t been happy for years but we stay because the priority is longevity and loyalty. We accept that if we’re married for 20 years at least 10 of those years will be miserable because that’s the way life is. We accept the miserable job because the bills need to be paid. We accept the house we don’t like and the broken car because the miserable job doesn’t pay us enough to allow us to get new stuff.

When we put all those things together suddenly happiness is too much work because it seems that happiness requires us to hurt others, uproot our lives, make massive, scary changes and do things we aren’t comfortable doing. It’s easier to be miserable. We give up. It doesn’t matter how much pain we’re in. It doesn’t matter how unhealthy we are mentally, emotionally, or physically. It’s easier to stay where we are in lives we don’t like.

So, what if we could be happy without changing a damn thing?

What if happiness was a choice instead of a set of circumstances?

What if we could remember why we married that person?

What if we could find something we liked about the job?

What if we could just be thankful we have a house and a car?

The truth is those things are possible. It’s possible to be okay no matter how rocky the boat is. It’s possible to be okay no matter how bad the circumstances seem. It requires a lot of focus, a lot of internal healing, a lot of devotion to self, but it is possible.

What happens when we take on the task of being happy where we are, is that we actually get the motivation, the will, the courage, the determination to begin to make changes. That is when we begin to allow the outside world to shift. That’s when we realize we outgrew our partner and that it’s okay to leave. That’s when we realize that there is a better job out there and we can take it. That’s when we find that “new to me” car that we can afford and is better than the one we’re driving now.

Or…

That’s when we decide the marriage isn’t so bad after all. That’s when we decide we actually really do like the job. That’s when we decide to put the money into repairing the car or fixing the house. That’s when we decide that our circumstances aren’t as bad as we thought they were.

Either way, whichever path you end up on you’re better off than you were. Finding happiness gives you clarity. it allows you to see your circumstances differently because you’ve separated yourself from those circumstances. They aren’t you and they don’t define you. Knowing that creates acceptance, understanding, perspective, and ultimately healing.

You have the power to be okay in the here and now, without changing anything. There is still work to do inside yourself, but that work doesn’t require you to uproot your life. It only requires you to be honest with yourself about who you are, what you want, and where you’re going. When you do that, life gets easier because the sense of direction is clear.

Happiness isn’t too much work. Unhappiness is just an escape route to avoid doing the things we know we need to do.

Love to all.

Laura

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