I’m human. Newsflash! I know how scary that must be for all of you to read, but it’s true and I wanted to share it with you. I’m sorry if that upsets you.
That humanness means I have a life happening around me, even as I show up here to share what I’ve learned and to offer you some help and guidance with your own lives. What that means is I’ll probably screw up. I’ll make mistakes. I’ll do more things I’m not proud of and they will be public, they will be known by you, and you will have to make a choice. Are you looking for a “perfect teacher or leader” or are you okay with teachers and leaders being human?
I’m sure you’re wondering why this is coming up. I’m sure you’ll also know I’m going to tell you! I got an assignment from my cards, which happens sometimes. I was asked to reflect on the willingness I have to gain clarity from the density and the struggle, that shows up in my life. Understanding my life from what I call the higher perspective is important to me. I do it all the time. Not only do I do it for myself, but I also model it for you frequently through blogs and other work. Why?
It allows me to adapt to and be okay with my experience. I am better able to accept that which I can understand from that higher perspective. If I have the clarity, it’s easier for me to allow things to just happen. I need less control over my life and what goes on in it. It becomes a loop because the more I’m able to allow and then share with you, the more I’m able to teach. The more I learn, the more I teach. The more I teach, the more I open myself up to learning.
The way I lead my life now allows me to continually have something to share with you. I’m totally open to living life on the wild side so that I have something to share with you. It doesn’t mean I go looking for trouble necessarily, it just means I don’t avoid it. I’m okay with taking a risk and seeing what happens because if nothing else, I’ll learn something that I can share with you. Nice loop, right?
Being human means my life came with a degree of self-doubt. I stopped myself from doing all kinds of things because I didn’t believe in my own power and it made me feel hopeless and helpless. I never used to question my reality because it was always showing me what I believed and I didn’t think I had the power to change it anyway.
Think about it this way, if life never showed you what you believed or thought, you’d think you were nuts. If you believed the world is a bad place and all you were shown was acts of kindness, you’d think you’d lost your mind. What happens instead is, you’re shown what you believe the majority of the time, but then every once in a while, something different will sneak through to show you that something different is possible. It happens that way so you don’t think you’re crazy.
That means self-doubt was reflected back to me all the time. But then every once in a while, something would happen that would make me question the doubt, but I wouldn’t examine it because I didn’t believe it was true. it was just a fluke. The same is true of the person that only sees bad stuff and then every once in a while sees a positive story, it’s just an anomaly to them. They don’t question it. Well, neither did I, until I did start to question it. That’s what got me to where I am now.
That’s why I talk about awareness all the time. The key for me was to question my reality. It was to become aware enough of what I was thinking about what was happening around me so that I could question it and look for that higher truth or perspective. Maybe this outer reality is warped. Maybe it’s not quite the way I’ve been taught. Maybe I need to see it differently. Hey, wait! My brain is doing its’ own thing again! Maybe I need to get a grip on that. Let’s redirect the brain to look for truth instead of chaos.
But then I had to get through the self-doubt. As a general rule, people like perfect teachers. When those teachers inevitably have their human moments, and those moments become public knowledge, people turn on them really quickly. I mitigate some of that by being honest on a regular basis, that I’m not here to be the perfect teacher. I’m here to experience life and share that experience with you and then use the clarity that I have access to, to understand things differently so that maybe you can find a different perspective for yourself on your own life.
I’m here to be human and share that with you. If you’re reading this, if you’re paying attention to my work, then you already know that and you’ve already accepted the humanness that is me. I thank you for that because that takes awareness.
Being willing to take in my work as a human, instead of some perfect ideal of what being human should be, means you’re taking responsibility for yourself and your own awareness. You are taking responsibility for your own thoughts, your own emotions, and your own life. You’re not putting it outside of yourself and you’re not pinning idealistic expectations on other people. That’s huge. It shows tolerance and acceptance, something that seems to be lacking right now.
There was a time when self-doubt kept me from being able to share like this. I wanted to hide behind my work instead of being the face of it. Well here we are, doubt and all, and I am my work, in more ways than I can possibly find words to describe in a blog. This is about as authentic as it gets. If I can do it, it means it’s possible for you too. It’s possible for you to have the life you want the way you want it. It’s possible for you to be accepted for who you are and surround yourself with people that are okay with that. It’s possible for you to live a life that you’re happy with and that you never need to vacation from.
It’s possible to find the truth in everything that happens in your life. It’s possible to understand that every experience is showing you something, no matter how good or how bad the experience may be, it’s there for your growth. Whether you choose to use the experiences of your life that way or not, it will keep happening like that.
Healing won’t make your life perfect. Healing doesn’t mean you never have problems again. Healing just means you get to be okay whether stuff is happening or not happening. It’s all the same because that’s life, and it just is.
Love to all.