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Lack of Motivation

I wanted to share something with you that happened yesterday morning. I knew last night before I went to bed that I wanted to get my new podcast up on Monday (shameless plug for the Spirituality Unpacked podcast) but I had zero motivation to move. I was avoiding it. I wrote a couple of lines in something else I was working on, then I watched a 30-minute YouTube video completely unrelated to anything else, I was just not interested in doing any of it.

Avoidance is a behavior I have. When the fear wants to creep in there, it shows up as avoidance. There is no real discernable emotion, just a lack of motivation to actually do what I need to do. So, I do what I always do when I recognize things like this, I pulled some cards for myself. Essentially, I got told to just give myself a kick and do it. So that’s what I did. My podcast may have been out slightly later than normal, but it was still done reasonably early, so it worked out.

But what’s with the avoidance thing? Why do I fall into that sometimes? How do I or you overcome it when it happens?

The last question is the easiest because the answer is really just to do it anyway. I just gave myself a kick and got up and started talking to my camera. That’s it. I didn’t clear anything, I didn’t heal anything, I didn’t do anything except to make myself get up and talk. It worked fine. It got me out of my funk really quickly and then I was fine for the rest of the day.

The other two questions might take a little more explanation. My current fear is the fear of success. It’s the question of what happens if I actually get what I want? What if what my intuition tells me is going to happen really does? Then what? Who am I to do that? How will that happen? Can I handle that? You know the drill.

Those questions stirring around in my head will generate fear, often without me consciously thinking the question. It’s just the sheer act of pushing forward with something that I’ve been doing consistently for a bit, like the podcast, that triggers it. There is nothing wrong with doing something consistently. There are many folks out there that put out memes daily. There are two reasons why I’ve struggled with those really consistent things. The first is what I’ve just been talking about. The second is that some of the stuff that I’ve tried to do in the past has been because I thought I “should” do them. It wasn’t because I wanted to. It wasn’t because I was excited about them. It was because I was supposed to or because other businesses do it. That’s never a good reason to do anything in your business, I might add.

Suffice it to say, I’ve dropped some good stuff over the years because I got scared of what would happen if it went somewhere. The original version of my podcast, Spirituality Unpacked, succumbed to that same fate. I got scared of it. I made up some excuse about not getting enough plays and stopped. It was nothing more than fear that stopped me. I have now recorded more episodes this time than I did the last time around. That’s a good start. So, my job now is to keep it going when the fear and avoidance act up, which they will.

If avoidance is based on fear that shows up as a lack of motivation, then it’s up to me and my awareness to catch myself. In the past, it’s been easy to pawn it off as a bad day, or just not being interested anymore, or deciding it’s not working, but generally, those things aren’t true. It’s just me putting up my own roadblocks and stopping myself from doing what I want. I successfully jumped the hurdle yesterday, but that may not happen every time and that’s okay. As long as I can catch it the majority of the time, I can keep going until the behavior stops happening.

Fear of success is a legitimate thing. It causes self-sabotage just like the behavior I’ve been demonstrating within myself. It seems illogical to be afraid of what you want, but it’s not. There is this background feeling of unworthiness that shows up. It’s the feeling of not deserving what you want or not being good enough to have it. Who am I to have that or do that thing?

The thing with unworthiness is you can’t heal it. It’s like courage or confidence, you don’t get those sitting on your couch. You have to do things, accept the positive outcomes of those things, and keep going. It’s only by doing that consistently, that you’ll begin to feel more worthy of where you are. Those new things will become normal and that will also help with the worthiness. You gain worthiness by proving it to yourself over a period of time.

What that means for me is continuing to challenge the apathy or lack of motivation that shows up to stop me by doing the thing anyway and then proving to myself that I am worthy of what happens as a result. It’s a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. It requires me to remain aware of myself and my behavior, but it’s doable. I can allow myself to move forward and I will, even if that means sometimes I have to push a little bit to get past some of the stuff that shows up.

Where has lack of motivation stopped you? Did you recognize it as a form of self-sabotage or did you let it stop you completely? Let me know in the comments!

Love to all.

Laura

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