Stop Arguing with It!

I’ve just had a really cool little moment for myself and I wanted to share it with you and attempt to explain it a little bit.

I’m noticing an increase in traffic around me. People are liking posts that I haven’t connected with yet. I’m seeing unfamiliar names. I’m seeing sudden jumps in traffic where things used to be quiet. I’m noticing a very sudden shift in the number of people around me. So, what’s actually happening? What changed?

I didn’t suddenly find a marketing budget. I didn’t have a sudden best-selling book (that’s coming!). I didn’t consciously change anything that I was doing in the outside world in terms of writing blogs or sharing content on social media. My work has changed dramatically over time, yes, but not in the last week. So what is different?

The balance within me is what’s different. I stopped fighting with my business and my work. I stopped arguing with my numbers. I stopped complaining that nobody was seeing my posts. I stopped worrying about how many likes I was getting. I started just doing things to do them. They aren’t done because I’m trying to accomplish anything, including making money. They are done simply because I want to do them. There is zero pressure from me on my work to do anything anymore. I share and write because I share and write. That’s it.

I spent so many years arguing with my work, whether it was in my existing business or in my old computer business, I used to argue with it all the time. I used to think I needed a marketing budget. I used to think I needed some best-selling book or some sort of shot out of a canon or maybe just a whole bunch of luck. The truth is, the only thing I needed to do was be okay within myself.

I have a very clear message now. I know exactly what I’m doing these days but I didn’t spend hours brainstorming that message. If you’ve followed me for any length of time you know that I’ve been formulating this for a while. It’s come about in bits and pieces. It’s not from me sitting down with an intent to form a message or a body of work, it’s from me understanding myself and then using that understanding to shape my work. I am my work. It can’t be any other way for me. So when I fight with my work, the only thing I’m fighting with is myself.

By simply deciding that this is who I am and this is what I do regardless of the outcome, I balanced myself. By balancing myself the outside world begins to shift and I begin to see the balance there as well. The imbalance was that I was giving far more in my work and the amount of content I was putting out than I ever got back from it in terms of not just money, but also the amount of traffic I had. Whatever is going on inside of me is also going on outside of me. Any perception of lack or not enough is about me feeling the lack and not enough. The only way to change that is to stop feeling that lack.

The money story got in the way too, because I would offer things to solve problems. It doesn’t work like that. The energy behind any offer of a session or a course needs to be from a very genuine place of wanting to help others, not from a position of trying to make money. One of the reasons I stopped offering sessions and courses all the time was because I had to change that energy within myself. I wasn’t allowing myself to write longer books or build the course and book combinations that I’ve been wanting to do because of fear of money. If I’m not offering some one-off then where does the money come from? That’s not going to get me anywhere. I can’t sit in that energy because it keeps things off-balance. It needed to change.

So what am I doing differently? Writing the book and course, not offering sessions or classes. I’m giving myself the space to do what I want without the worry of what happens. Yes, that last master class I offered came from a place of needing to make money. Guess what? I only had 3 people in it. Why? Because I wasn’t in balance, because I can’t work from there. I absolutely have to trust myself and know for sure that these bigger projects that take a lot longer to make are safe to do. There is no risk in those bigger bodies of work. It’s okay to do them. Why do you think most of my books are less than 100 pages? It’s because I didn’t feel safe creating anything bigger. It’s not because I didn’t have anything to say! 😉 That too needed to change.

This is all me just arguing with reality. Once I have enough appointments or enough money coming in then I’ll do the big project. Nope, it doesn’t work like that. The Universe doesn’t work with those conditions. Build the bigger thing first and then watch what happens in your reality while you do it. It comes down to deciding that you’re safe and that it’s okay to do what you want to do. Believe me, that’s a leap and a half. It’s not an easy place to get to when the bills are piling up, but that’s where you need to go.

Balance can only be created when you find it within yourself and you let go of all the conditions around what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. If you could do anything with your life what would you do? Lots of people answer that question with wanting to sit on the beach and drink margaritas. Why? Because they want the opportunity to relax. They want to take the edge off. They are tired of struggling. I used to be that way too. For a long time, if somebody had asked me what I actually wanted to do, I would have said sit on a beach and do nothing too, but that was only because I was tired of the struggle. I was tired of arguing with my reality. So, what did I do? I didn’t sit on a beach. I stopped arguing with my reality. I stopped struggling. I still like the idea of the beach, but it’s not because I need to escape anymore. There is nothing to run away from, I quite like my life. Now I want the beach simply because there is no snow there and it’s warm! 😉

The truth is when you simply get okay with what is, the what is begins to change. Now I’m watching that happen in my own reality. My reality hasn’t really shifted in quite a long time. I had a lot of work to do on myself first. Now that I’ve done a lot of that, I get to watch my reality shift. You know what? That’s really stinkin’ cool and a whole lot of fun! The truth is I’m not attached to the outcome anymore. It will be a very natural thing that will happen now because I’ve found balance within myself.

I’m challenging you to balance yourself and watch how reality changes when you do.

Love to all.


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