• The Decision to Heal

    You have what you need within you. The determination is there. The willpower is there. The courage is there. You just have to decide to dig it up from underneath all that pain you're sitting in right now. You just have to decide that you're done with pain and that it's time to change.

  • My Trip Down Memory Lane

    The transition point comes when you no longer care about solving the problems. Effectively the problems stop mattering. You're no longer in fear. You're happy in your work and you're comfortable with what you're doing. You're out of your head and you've dealt with the majority of the crazy ideas that use d to stop you.

  • Episode 51: Revisiting My Powerlessness

    In this episode, I talk about how I had stopped myself once again because I was afraid of what other people would think. The last few weeks have been pretty quiet as I backed off, stopped writing, and really only kept up the podcast. I didn't really know what was up until it hit me in the middle of the night last night. But now that I get it, I can come and talk about it and move on from it. Join me today as I talk myself through this powerlessness thing and what happens next!

  • Becoming Aware of How I Feel

    'm on a constant mission to find truth in what's happening. Doing that means I can't defend the old story and I have to be able to look around me and notice that things have changed dramatically. I see patterns, habits, and ways of being that don't work anymore. I allow myself to understand where they came from and why they are there without defending them.

  • Ready or Not Here I Come!

    The intuitive awareness of the shift, the door that I presented myself with when I offered coaching the other day, people taking me up on the offer, new folks coming in, all of those things showed me that life had changed. It's one of the first signs outside of myself, outside of my own internal reality, that something is different, something is moving and quickly.

  • Communicating Was Terrifying For Me

    Not only did I have to stop being afraid of talking I also had to change the way I talked and how I framed what I said. Ultimately I had to be able to do the things that I was talking about and learning. My ability to embody my own teaching was kind of important. That's what I've done. Taking on that process is some of what helped me take my power back.

  • I Get to Stop Struggling!

    I feel like I could talk for days right now! I have a lot to say about what’s been going on today. I did some work on myself this morning and all the learning has prompted a lot of writing and sharing! I’m so glad tomorrow is podcast day! I can fit a lot into 30 minutes of blabbing! Maybe it’ll even go over time! Oh no! Anyway, the title of tomorrow’s podcast is going to be “Life is Not an Unsupervised Toddler” because that’s what I’ve had the pleasure of learning and understanding today. It also led to a deeper understanding of myself and my responses to my experiences in the past. You see, I only had two options because I’d put my power away. The first was to do nothing and the second was to be a stubborn bullheaded crazy person. Stubbornness, for a long time, was the only power I had. So I was on or I was off. I had one switch. When stubbornness wasn’t appropriate I would walk away from whatever was happening because I didn’t believe I could handle it any other way. You can imagine the chaos and pain that led to. When I was confronted by my own stuff the stubbornness would become defensiveness and a need to be right. If I decided not to be stubborn, I would victimize myself and simply give in, which often didn’t work either because I was responding in a really victimized way. There was no balance, there were only extremes. I kept the focus off of myself as much as I could because I was always okay with other people’s stuff. It was only my own that was triggering for me. I used blame as a way of keeping the focus off of myself. I didn’t know how to heal, I didn’t know what to heal, and I didn’t feel like I had permission to heal, so I just kept bouncing from problem to problem. The only choice I ever made was to be stubborn or not. When your choices are to be stubborn or do nothing, the options are quite limited. It caused me to walk away from some things I didn’t want to walk away from. I felt so trapped and so scared to be in my own skin, that I just shrunk back into the walls. I’d run away as quickly as I could. Those things caused a lot of pain, a lot of heartaches, but they also resulted in a lot of healing. I had to figure out how to stand on my own. I had to figure out where the other options were. There had to be a better way than what I was doing. I just didn’t know what that was. Taking my power back has meant realizing that I can let my guard down. I don’t have to sit around and wait for the next thing to happen. I can be okay in my own skin. Even if…

  • Don’t Blink!

    My two favorite words right now are "trust yourself" because that's really all you need. Trust your intuition, trust yourself to land on your feet, and for heaven's sake don't blink. Just keep going. You will get there and you will be fine. The Universe is just testing to make sure you actually want what you say you want.

  • Shrinking to Fit

    I don't believe this needs to be painful. I believe the pain is felt with the experience and in a short period afterward through which grief, blame, shame, or guilt are processed. But I don't believe that 20 years later we should still be dealing with that same pain. There is a way to do this that doesn't have to be scary, hard, or painful. I want to offer you that.