The Hamster Wheel of Healing

It keeps coming up, over and over and over again. It shows up in that person, on that sign, in that experience you just had. It’s everywhere. You can’t avoid it. It will keep coming up until you do something about it. That’s the hamster wheel of healing.

Nobody likes this wheel. Once we become aware, we understand that when things show up all the time, it means it’s something we’re supposed to deal with. The question is, what is it that we’re supposed to deal with? That’s the hard part because usually it’s buried childhood trauma. It’s your inner 6-year old that’s objecting to whatever it is. Until you talk to that inner 6-year old, until you admit to that pain and trauma, it’s going to keep happening.

At the core of all of this is some big thing, it’s the motor that keeps the wheel spinning. It’s worthiness, disempowerment, your inner child, your anger, your pain. There is always a root cause. It’s not necessarily one life event, although it can be, usually it’s everything rolled up together that created some belief about self or life that doesn’t work anymore. There’s some big thing that needs to be worked through.

My own personal experience has been one of disempowerment, which meant that my life taught me how to empower myself. My life taught me how letting other people decide what my life should look like would make me miserable. It taught me that I had to use my stubbornness in a way that empowered me, not just made me right. When I understood that the wheel was controlled by my own sense of disempowerment, my own sense of powerlessness, it stopped spinning. I had acknowledged it and it allowed me to work through it. The truth is, I’m still working through it and that’s okay. It’s just not showing up everywhere anymore because it’s something I’m actively working on.

Yes, things still come up all the time. There are other wheels that I have to deal with. There are always things. The work is never done. But the more we work on things, the more we deal with things as they happen instead of waiting 20 years, the more we keep acknowledging, keep accepting, keep understanding, the easier it gets, the less nauseous the spinning wheel makes you.

It doesn’t have to be a hamster wheel. It’s not a straight line, but it doesn’t have to spin either. The more you avoid, the worse it gets, the faster the wheel goes. Eventually, the wheel kicks you off if you don’t do anything about it. In tarot, that’s what we call a tower moment. That’s when life crumbles around you. That’s when that stuff we think is bad, happens. It’s the Universe trying to get your attention. It’s the Universe making it so you have no choice but to deal with it.

What it looks like when we don’t deal with it, is victimhood. It’s that sense that life is happening to me or that I’m being punished. But nobody is being punished for anything. We are not victims of anything. Life is happening for us to show us where those hamster wheels are and what we need to do to stop them from spinning. It’s your job to hit the off button though, nobody can do that for you. You have to do that for yourself.

When you recognize that wheel, acknowledge it and find the motor so you can turn it off. Stop spinning. Life doesn’t have to make you sick. You can make a new choice for yourself.

Love to all.

Laura

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