The Invisible Cage

The saying goes that happiness is an inside job. What does that mean? Regardless of what’s going on around us we have the power to be happy in the moment. That isn’t necessarily an easy thing to do, but the recognition of the possibility of it is an important first step.

This is for those that are struggling with this idea of being okay on the inside while the outside is a little less than ideal. How do we get the inside and the outside to match? How do we create a reality that we actually like, one we don’t need a vacation from?

For me it’s all about permission. The first step was giving myself permission to do what I wanted to do. I had to allow myself to walk out of the open door of the invisible cage I had put myself in. Notice that it’s an invisible cage with an open door. What that means is that we aren’t ever really stuck or trapped or prevented from doing what we want to do, it’s just a perception.

Usually, we have that perception because we either worry about what other people are thinking or we don’t think we deserve whatever it is we’re trying to achieve, including happiness. What if we have a belief that we don’t deserve to be happy? We’re not here because we’re being punished. We are born deserving, there is nothing to earn. So why wouldn’t we allow ourselves to be happy?

Fear. Worthiness. Other people and their opinions, traumas and beliefs. Life. Change.

I’ve been working on this happiness thing myself, fixing my life and making it more of what I want and less of what I don’t. This stuff isn’t easy. There is a ton of fear of what people are going to think. There is a lot of concern around whether what I’m doing is the right thing. But there is no “wrong” in wanting to be happy, in deciding to be okay.

People often point at those whose lifestyles are born of trauma. Maybe they are out partying till all hours of the night or whatever the case may be, like that is what the person does to make themselves happy. Some behaviours are created from trauma, not happiness. it’s important to recognize the difference between the two. Traumatic behaviours are destructive and unhealthy. People working to change their lives in positive ways may be making changes but those changes aren’t happening from a place of anger or trauma.

When we make a positive change in our lives it doesn’t mean that everybody is happy about it. Positive change isn’t always positive for everybody involved. But ultimately it brings happiness to the person that’s creating it. That’s the point. That may seem selfish to some, but it’s not. Taking care of ourselves is not selfish, it’s necessary. I’ve said before that we have to fill our own tanks first, then we can help other people.

The struggle is real but it’s not impossible. True soul-centered goals and desires aren’t easy, they are often hard to achieve, but the drive to make them happen is there regardless. If the struggle is a motivational one, it’s time to re-check the goal and make sure it’s actually what you want. Motivation is never a problem when things are fully aligned with us.

Sometimes “happiness” is a 4-letter word, but it doesn’t have to be. Have the courage, the strength, the passion, to create the life you want regardless of what that looks like to anybody else. Free yourself from the invisible cage. It’s worth it.

Love to all.

Laura

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