Blog

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Do you do this?

I do and it’s something that just came up. Like I always do when things come up for me, I immediately run to my blog to share because I know that sharing with you is what gives me clarity. So, let’s talk through this one and see what shows up.

When life is good or when things are going well, and particularly if that’s not what we’re used to, we have a tendency to sort of wait for the problems to show up, we wait for a reason to not be okay. We’re looking over our shoulders all the time waiting to see what happens next. Instead of grabbing the popcorn and enjoying the ride, we’re looking over our shoulders to make sure nothing bad happens to us.

What’s that about?

We don’t trust ourselves. We don’t trust our ability to create a life that we can actually enjoy for any length of time. We don’t believe that we don’t have to protect and defend ourselves all the time and so we’re always waiting for the next thing. We don’t believe it’s safe to let our guard down.

Life teaches us this. Life taught me this. I can absolutely acknowledge that I have spent much of my life waiting for the next problem to show up because every time some money would come in, the car would break down, something else would need to be paid, or there would be some reason I would lose it. So now, the minute I start making some money, I wait for the next problem, I wait for a reason to spend it. I wait for the thing that takes it away from me.

It’s part of the old cycle, it’s part of the old pattern for me. The question I ask with everything that comes up shows up again. Is it true?

Experience tells me it’s true. I could defend it by sharing my experience with. But my experience is not a validation of the truth. As I’ve been talking about in reference to the layers of experience that we have, the what is doesn’t mean anything. It just is. It’s not a validation of my sense of victimization. It’s not a validation of my pain. It’s not a validation of the cycles that I’ve been in. What it shows me is what I need to heal within myself. The only thing it shows me is who I believe I am within myself.

It means there is a part of me that doesn’t trust my own well-being. There is a part of me there that I need to accept. She served a purpose because there was a time when my experience showed me that on a regular basis, but that doesn’t make it true, and it doesn’t mean I can’t change it. I can see quite clearly that she was trying to protect me by having me feel the need to protect myself all the time. Maybe I don’t have to do that anymore.

I know I can handle what shows up. I don’t need to be on guard waiting for the next thing though. What purpose does doing that serve me? Well, it doesn’t serve me. What if I can simply enjoy my life and trust that if the other shoe does drop, I can catch it. What if life can’t sneak up on me anymore? What if it’s okay to let my guard down?

I cracked the cycle. I don’t need to play in that space anymore. As is always the case though, there are holdover patterns and beliefs that are showing up to be released. This is one of them. In a few minutes after I share this blog with the world, I will go and accept that piece of me. I’ve shared the intuitive experience that I have around that process. It allows me to expand myself and remain self-contained. There is nothing out there to find.

I don’t need to go blame anybody for it. I’m not a victim of my reality. Life taught me that lesson, but that doesn’t mean that it was bad. I can see the purpose that it served in my life. I can be okay with that. I don’t need to argue with it or punish myself for it in any way.

Now I want to come full circle back to where I started with this blog. I’ve shared with you what came up as I sat here writing. I didn’t victimize myself. I didn’t get mad at myself. I can accept the bits that show up and be okay at the same time.

The things that I offer you are ways for you to do the same thing for yourself. It’s not magic. It’s a willingness to understand myself within my own experience and, in the process, be accepting of what that means. It means I’m going to find bits like this that seemingly caused trouble in my life. It’s my job to give them a purpose and meaning that doesn’t victimize me. What is this here to teach me? What am I here to learn? When you can do that for yourself, you free yourself to heal. It’s no longer a scary process. It’s not hard. It’s not bad. It’s actually easy and very freeing.

There’s nothing to hang on to. It just is. It’s the what is of my experience and it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with it. I want you to see that for your own life. Whether you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop or there’s something else coming up, just accept that it is or was and leave it there. Stop arguing with it. Stop making it a problem for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a problem. It can actually offer you insight and understanding into yourself and who you are without all the pain and victimization covering up the truth.

Love to all.

Laura

Tell Me What You Think!

Subscribe to My Blog!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 22 other subscribers